"Gautam is my friend!" I picked up my rucksack and made my way out of that dungeon. None can make you breathe if you're obstinate on committing suicide. She will cry gallons, develop motley patterns under her eyes, flunk in term papers, get banished from friend circle but will not let go off Gautam. Amby was not willing to lend anyone an ear. How was I bothered!
The world started pressing on me. I was feeling glum for seemingly no reason. I felt as if everyone at Belmont Square was eying me and scrutinising every single flutter of my lashes. I felt as if anybody even faintly smiling was poking fun at me. I presumed every glance at me as an attempt to disintegrate my mental composition to crumbs. I felt humiliated, trepidated, delirious, queer, pixilated, inhuman..
The neighbourhood McD served as the perfect refuge. I banged in [literally into a guy carrying a crate of trays] and took a sigh of relief. I grabbed my meal and took a seat in the extreme corner of the restaurant. Pairs are made in heaven. I realise this each time when I look at my coke and fries repast. I thanked Mrs. Kerry heartily for all the Heinz and Happiness her existence provides me. John has some substance for sure.
And then, I heard some vivacious noise from the first floor. A birthday party was in full swing. I got nostalgic. I wished to step into Griffith's shoes for a jiffy. I wanted to savour the proceedings of the celebration as an invisible spectator. I wanted to join those cheerful people in merry-making without their knowledge. Happiness was my long lost friend.
I was travelling back into time. Memories that I had abandoned in my subconscious mind became explicit scenes. That Preet Vihar house, quarrelsome parents, isolated childhood, Nirula's sundaes after annual results, "nerd, jerk, dullard", rejection, betrayal, boycott from society for asserting my choice, scholarship to study at MIT.. Seventeen years revisited in seventeen shakes.
I would have been a philosopher had I not been a diligent budding engineer and a loyal McD employee. People take to philosophy when either they are fed up of life or life is fed up of them. It is so easy to put sophisticated idea into eloquent words and then sell them to half-with Yankees under a fancy cover. Due apologies to Mr. Deepak Chopra. How simple is it to say that solitude is man's best company, one has to seek pleasure from within. Only if it was that simple for the heart to understand. I sometimes wish I was a sim0ple, emotionless biological entity.
It was time. I towed myself out of the grandly air-conditioned lobby to reach the dust-decorated, gasoline-scented pavement. Each step of mine burdened my heart with the load of another earth. Feelings got subjugated, emotions became auxiliary, senses mortified. My mind was numb.
I had never felt so small.
The two mile distance seemed like a journey stretching over lifetimes. I was finally at my 56th floor balcony with my mug of hot chocolate. Roads, buildings, horizon; everything I laid my eyes on was glittering. I felt so high, so close to the pearl-studded sky. The integral illuminated sky healed my heart. A delicate breeze soothed my body. The radiant moonlight nourished my soul. I felt extolled, encouraged, determined, composite, satiated, human..
2 comments:
" People take to philosophy when either they are fed up of life or life is fed up of them" .. I read these lines over and over again and subconsciously found myself relating it to my past..
" Delightfully Brilliant " a trademark gem from the pen of Prateeksha . If only i could take a look inside her brain i would know how is she able to come up with such marvels.
First of all I would like to say that this blog was a real TEST for my vocabulary…………khi khi.
TIME TO RATE THE BLOG : interesting
Well……to be very true, initially the blog wasn’t that appealing (may be because of difficult words) but then as I moved onward, it started making me feel curious…….something bugging my mind WHATZ HAPPENING WATZ HAPPENING. And till the end, one actually understands the sense of the account. It seemed to be very profound, touching, arousing and poignant. One can understand it more visibly if he\she could imagine the situations you have been through (if I m not wrong the blog is somewhere related to you………I am not sure!!). The beginning of the story was quite alienated to me but eventually I got the meaning of the description to some extent because I still have some doubts regarding the story. But ya it is one of your best blogs I can say.
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